Das Pulp

Went to see "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" this past weekend, with my pals Das Schnoz and Drew. Good times, good times.

A strange but interesting film, based on many of the old action/mystery films of the 20's and 30's. I'd call it a good mix of "Indiana Jones" meets "The Malteese Falcon", with "The Rocketeer" serving cocktails. Jude Law, Gweneth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie star, and do a fine job. Some critcs pan Paltrows performance (say that 5 times fast), but I found it very effective, and not submissive or demure like others have suggested. I'd give it a rating of "Matinee, won't buy" on my newly created Rate-o-meter. Look for future instalments of this highly scientific scale as I come up with it.

On a side note, I'd like to address the word "Das". Obviously a German word for "the", made popular by the critically acclaimed film "Das Boot". Yes, before this film Germans had to mutely point at objects. Dark times, they were.

Anyway, I feel that if something is "Das" whatever, it conjures images of an epic, gritty film starring Jurgen Prochnow, in which he and the rest of the cast are accosted by the trials and tribulations of whatever it is you're talking about. So Das Toaster would be a dark, sweeping film which pushes Jurgen and company to the edge of their crusty, crumby sanity. The whole toaster film genre would be revolutionized by the coming of this Magnum Opus.

Das Easter Bunny, Das Saved by the Bell, Das Nursing Home. See, you're doing it too.

My friend Das Schnoz. Coming to a theatre near you.