As You Vote

Along a rock-strewn path the man in black runs. After a long journey he approaches a short, bald man with a knife to the throat of a blindfolded woman holding some scales. At long last, he has arrived.

Vizzini: So, it is down to you, and it is down to me...if you wish her dead, by all means keep moving forward.
Man in black: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?
Vizzini: There will be no arrangements...and you're killing her.
Man in black: But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
Vizzini: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in black: Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Vizzini: For the woman? To the death? I accept!
Man in black: [turning his back, and adding the poison to one of the candidates] Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both vote-and find out who is right, and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of these candidates. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own candidate or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own candidate because he would know that only a great fool would reach for hat he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of you...But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of me.
Man in black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: [happily] Not remotely!
Man in black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait 'till I get going!!
Man in black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! That candidate has lied repeatedly and told exaggerations about his opponent, so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of you. However, this candidate has also hidden truths from the people, so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of me.
Man in black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Man in black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose...[pointing behind the man in black] What in the world can that be?
Man in black: [turning around, while Vizzini switches candidates] What?! Where?! I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Oh, well, I...I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [Vizzini laughs]
Man in black: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I...I'll tell you in a minute. First, lets vote, me for my candidate and you for yours. [They both vote]
Man in black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched candidates when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!

[Vizzini continues to laugh hysterically. Suddenly, he stops and falls right over.]

Justice: And to think, all that time it was your candidate that was poisoned.
Man in black: They were both poisoned.

[Man in black begins to laugh hysterically. Suddenly, he stops and falls right over.]