It's driving me nuts!

The year was 1980something.

Before Ebad and all the other online auction sites, we had to make do with television acutions. These weeklong media events would offer everything, from food to art, clothes to cleaning. Once you saw something you wanted, you'd call in to the station and speak to one of the hordes of operators waiting to take your call. They were strangly compelling, these auctions. You just had to watch and see what happened. Maybe you'd find that elusive needle in a haystack you'd been looking for, or just sit back and watch how much people would bid for certain items. These auctions could be enthralling.

Well, Sportscenter wasn't as big as it is now, let's just say. We had a few less options for our viewing pleasure back then.

No! No! Surely not! I know you don't believe me. Ask me some day to tell you the story of the rotary phone. I digress.

It was as a result of one of these TV auctions that I came to know and love the game, "Pirates!"

Gaming genius Sid Meier has recently re-released an updated version of this game. I say updated, because basically all of the old gameplay is there, with some very fresh additions. It was a real trip down memory lane as I booted it up for the first time this past weekend. Probably 10 years had passed since I last played it, and as I headed out to sea, everything was as I remember it, down to the sailing controls and fencing moves. Even a copy of the old parchment map was included with the game. It was like riding a bike again. Except I was raiding and plundering the Spanish Main. Some things you never forget.

Many new features were added, like a variety of shot types for your cannons and upgrades for your ships. You can even dance with Governor's daughters to win their affections. Great stuff. It all flows together to enhance the wonderful flavor of that old Mac game I used to spend hours playing.

Players new to the game may find it a bit simple, or at times cartoonish. Also, some of the initial load times between screens can be a bit longer than you'd like. I've also had a few problems with my video card acting up while playing. However, I wouldn't be totally surprized if one day it popped out of my computer case and it's head started spinning around, a la "The Exorcist". So take that last problem with a grain of salt.

I guess the best compliment I can give to this game is once I installed it, the rest of my weekend flew by in haze of gold dubloons and swashbuckling adventure.

Watch out, Blackbeard. The next set of sails you see on the horizon might be mine.

A Modest Return

Looks like I'm back in buisness, at least for the time being. The new computer is running again, tho not perfectly. I'll take it as it is. Fingers crossed, knocking on wood.

Had a good Thanksgiving, sans the turkey. I ask you, what is Thanksgiving without turkey? Our family decided not to have any this year (I was out voted). Seriously...no turkey. I think this can ban you from heaven/nirvana/the afterlife in several major religions.

Anyway, looks like I'll be able to do some posting again. I have recently picked up Half Life 2 and Pirates!, so I'll try to have some impressions written up this week. I'm also working my way thru "Noir", a fairly typical girls with guns anime series, and I'll try to write something up for that as well.

Good to be back!

An apology

Sorry for the lack of posts everyone. Very busy at work and at home, so very little time for posting. Also, the whole new computer fiasco (which could be an epic series of posts in itself) has turned me off a bit to the whole computer thing for a while.

I'll have a few things for later in the week, I believe, when things get a bit slower. Can't wait for Thanksgiving break.

Grand Moff Retrum is teh suck

I of course have spoken too soon about my new computer being at 100%. Ironically, shortly after writing that post it contracted the dreaded Ebola AIDS SARS Plague E Coli Mumps Pox. I regret to inform the parents of the untimely demise of their son or daughter.

Due to my love of movies, I liken the whole incident to the end of Star Wars: A New Hope. Just as I completed orbiting the planet and had haughtily ordered my crew to fire when ready, small evasive craft entered my system and blew it up.

That's ok though, I get revenge in the next movie.

So, until those stupid Ewoks show up and ruin my cunning plan, I'm in the drivers seat.

Minus my computer, of course.

More than meets the eye

Finally, the long winter of my discontent has ended. My new(er) computer is up and running at apparently 100%. Mucho thanks to Wilzy for the final tune up. Now if only the long winter of my real life would get here. I'm a winter guy, by the way.

Anyone who enjoys video games, and especially older shooters, will understand this next bit.

As I as fooling around with some fun stuff on the new rig, I came to realize that all the stories of the Red Baron are probably false. Now, this is not to say that he didn't live, or fly a plane or something. I just think that he probably didn't fly around in a bright red plane all the time and shoot down all those enemy flyers. How do I know? Because any experienced shooter player knows that when you shoot a plane that's red, a little powerup will appear. So I'm thinking that every plane in the sky (his own side included) would have been gunning for him if he was flying a red plane. He may have tried it once, made it home in one piece, and said "To heck with this red plane thing, I'll just be called the Red Baron."

Except he was German, so he'd have said "Zu Zur hölle mit diesem roten Flugzeugding, ich werde nur den Roten Baron gerufen werden."

Saw that one coming, didn't you?

Snap Hiss

I started the day by telling the Pirate joke, and it's gone steadily downhill from there.

The Force is not with me. This is a good thing, trust me. If it was, my journey towards the Dark Side would have been complete during study hall. It's probably good that Euthanasia isn't legal in this state.

In summary, what a craptacular day.

I am listening to The Doors now, and thus feeling a bit better.

Stop the Presses!

Hold everything! I've discovered the true meaning of love! Throw out those ideas about feelings. Get rid of long moonlit walks. Adios, growing old together. Physical attraction, the door is that way.

The true meaning of love?

An RF modulator.

I'd like to thank CellGirl for this startling epiphany. Apparently her DVD player wasn't working right, so her charming boyfriend goes out and buys her an RF modulator and now everythings great.

Love...ain't it sweet?

As You Vote

Along a rock-strewn path the man in black runs. After a long journey he approaches a short, bald man with a knife to the throat of a blindfolded woman holding some scales. At long last, he has arrived.

Vizzini: So, it is down to you, and it is down to me...if you wish her dead, by all means keep moving forward.
Man in black: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?
Vizzini: There will be no arrangements...and you're killing her.
Man in black: But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
Vizzini: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in black: Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Vizzini: For the woman? To the death? I accept!
Man in black: [turning his back, and adding the poison to one of the candidates] Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both vote-and find out who is right, and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of these candidates. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own candidate or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own candidate because he would know that only a great fool would reach for hat he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of you...But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of me.
Man in black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: [happily] Not remotely!
Man in black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait 'till I get going!!
Man in black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! That candidate has lied repeatedly and told exaggerations about his opponent, so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of you. However, this candidate has also hidden truths from the people, so I can clearly not choose the candidate in front of me.
Man in black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Man in black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose...[pointing behind the man in black] What in the world can that be?
Man in black: [turning around, while Vizzini switches candidates] What?! Where?! I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Oh, well, I...I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [Vizzini laughs]
Man in black: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I...I'll tell you in a minute. First, lets vote, me for my candidate and you for yours. [They both vote]
Man in black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched candidates when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!

[Vizzini continues to laugh hysterically. Suddenly, he stops and falls right over.]

Justice: And to think, all that time it was your candidate that was poisoned.
Man in black: They were both poisoned.

[Man in black begins to laugh hysterically. Suddenly, he stops and falls right over.]